The eccentricities of life and a peculiar confessional…!

Posted on October 1, 2011

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My life has not been smooth..there have been innumerable ups and downs,turmoils,hardships,some failed relationships,battered trust and shattered dreams,yet i found the courage to move on..we all have to..some day or the other!It is a decision you make when the relaization finally dawns upon you,you need to forget and you need to forgive in order to move on,in order to put the trauma behind you. I am just like you yet i am so different.I cry sometimes but i instantly wipe the tears away,i cannot give some inconsequential person the right to hurt me.Tears are a luxury i cannot afford because i cannot be weak,there is so much to do.So much life to be lived,so many moments to be cherished,so much love to give,so much to experience.Life is beautiful but it hasn’t been perfect so far..NO!There are many things i wish i could go back and change but now that i am here i would rather not regret it because at that point of time i did what i believed was the best for me.I will not sit here and tell you how i am just an ordinary girl deep down who just wants a tight hug and unconditional love.I will not sit around and crib about how people have hurt me.It is life and all of us have been betrayed at some point or the other by someone we considered close and trustworthy. I don’t think my problems are bigger than what others face,NO.When i look at the sheer misery and destitution that half of our population faces,i feel my problems are of meagre importance.I will not go out and get pissy-eyed drunk to obliterate my problems or cut myself to numb the “real” pain.I will not cry over a broken toe-nail or a failed relationship because i know its not worth my time or energy.Things will be fine again.I will be loved and accepted for what i am by someone someday.I need not do unusual things like creating an “imaginary” identity or adding things like darkness,pain and emo stuff to my list of interests just to appear “cool” or to draw attention to myself,i would rather let my work and things i sincerely believe in speak for me.Yes,i am a dreamer but i am also a hardcore realist,a person who is ashamed to reveal his/her true identity or origins can never face the harshness of life.Who doesn’t feel pain?Who doesn’t suffer?We all do.Being humans we have this uncanny ability to put our faith in people too soon and too much.It doesn’t mean you stop loving,it doesn’t mean you stop trusting and it sure as hell doesn’t mean you stop living! In many ways i am still the same girl i used to be,i will not say that time has changed me or that i have matured into someone who doesn’t make any mistakes.I do just like all of you!I can be childish,moody,even unbearably hideous!The only thing that has changed is my attitude towards life,yes,my life is not perfect,yes i don’t look glamourous always,yes,i have put my faith in people who simply turned out to be fake and loserish,yes,i have been used and betrayed by people i considered “friends” but then,life isn’t all that bad.God has blessed me by putting me in a position where i can help others,in some way or the other.Life seems to drag on endlessly and monotonously sometimes but i try and use my time the best i can.I have stopped regretting my past actions,what is done is done.I will not waste another second wishing that i hadn’t done something i did or vice-versa.Things happen for a reason.PERIOD.I will not blame,simply because there is no use!In the end,it is my life and only i get to decide what i make of it.

So yes,in many ways i am just like you yet i am so,so different and that makes me what i am..ISHITA SINHA.

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